Is it time to Sleep Divorce?

Think those who sleep apart grow apart? It’s time to put that notion to bed. Increasingly, couples are choosing to sleep separately or adopt the Scandi sleep method and use individual duvets. Here's why you might want to try it for a better night’s sleep.

 

What is sleep divorce?
Good sleep matters. It’s as vital to our bodies as eating and breathing and keeps our mental and physical health in check. Sleep divorce celebrates this by prioritising the importance of sleep over sharing a bed. In sleeping separately, couples affected by their partner's sleep often sleep better, wake up happier and enjoy a better bond as a result.

 

Sleep divorce vs Scandi sleep method

There are many reasons why you might want to uncouple when it comes to sleep.

 

Sleep patterns
Nobody enjoys being abruptly woken from a deep slumber. Conflicting sleep patterns, whether the result of work schedules or different chronotypes –- such as one partner being an early riser (lark), the other a night owl – can disrupt the other’s rest. 

Should I sleep divorce? If your partner’s sleep patterns disrupt your sleep, talk about it. You may find a way forward that benefits you both. You may also want to consider separate beds for better sleep and reserve bed-sharing for date nights and other special times.

 

Snoring
When one partner snores, no one sleeps well. According to the Sleep Foundation 44% of people whose partner snores feel tired the next day, 33% end up cranky or moody, and 28% feel totally drained. Sleeping on your back can worsen snoring and sleep apnea, increasing sleep disruption. Read our guide to What’s Keeping Your Awake At Night for tips on sleeping on your side.

Should I sleep divorce? Lifestyle changes such as limiting alcohol intake and exercises that improve muscle tone can help stop snoring. Anti-snore products and side sleeping may also help. Sleeping in separate beds and rooms, however, can quickly help you avoid a partner’s noisy snoring and get a better night's rest.

 

Bed hogging

Partners that like to spread out can leave you feeling pushed to the edge. If you often wake with an elbow in your face, sleep divorce can provide the extra space you both need. Bed hogging can also be due to a bed or duvet that’s too small. Check our bedding guide to make sure your bed and bedding are properly sized.

 

Should I sleep divorce? The Scandi sleep method of sharing a bed using separate duvets, blankets and throws can be ideal for duvet hoggers. This approach lets you each hog the covers without disturbing one another, while enjoying the closeness of sharing a bed. Starfish sleepers that sleep with their arms and legs stretched far out wide however may benefit from their own bed.

 

Tossing and turning
A fidgety partner can throw off your sleep cycle and make it tough to get the restful sleep you need. Frequent awakening can also lead to sleep-related anxiety, making it even harder to drift back off to sleep. Many factors can lead to tossing and turning including stress, anxiety and an unwelcoming sleep space. Evaluate your bed’s comfort level in 7 tell-tale signs your bed or bed linen needs an upgrade.

 

Should I sleep divorce? The Scandi sleep method of sharing a bed using separate duvets, quilts or blankets can be ideal for those that toss and turn. It lets you toss and turn or get up without disturbing each other, while still enjoying the physical closeness of sharing a bed.

 

Hot sleepers
Sleeping with someone that radiates heat like a furnace can seriously disrupt sleep. A cool, but not cold, room is generally best for helping you fall – and stay – asleep throughout the night. Extreme heat can also be associated with the menopause. Read our expert guide on how to sleep better through the menopause transition by certified menopause coach, James Ellis.

 

Should I sleep divorce? The Scandi-style method of sharing a bed using separate duvets, comforters, or blankets can be ideal for those who overheat at night. This way the hot sleeper can use cool, crisp, easily removable sheets or a lightweight duvet without imposing the same on their partner.

 

Light and noise
Some people prefer waking up in complete darkness, while others enjoy rising to natural light. Similarly, some are easily awakened, while others can sleep through a storm. Those who are more sensitive to their surroundings may be more easily disturbed by light and noise.

 

Should I sleep divorce? There are lots of adjustments you can make to your sleep environment, from investing in a white noise machine to drown out stressful sounds to using blackout curtains and a sleep mask to block out light. Creating a more sleep-conducive bedroom can also improve sleep quality. Read our expert guide to creating the perfect sleep sanctuary by Emma, founder of Studio Hooton.

 

Best investments for sleeping separately

 

Beds: A zip and link bed can be arranged as two singles or zipped together to form a larger bed. This flexibility suits couples with different sleep preferences or weights, allowing them to sleep together or apart. “A super king is best for adults as it will create two decent sized singles.” say Emma, Studio Hooton

 

Mattresses: Memory foam mattresses are great at reducing motion transfer so you won’t be disturbed by your partner’s movements during the night. However, memory foam can trap body heat, which may not be ideal if you tend to overheat. Using naturally cool high-quality cotton bed sheets can help.

 

Bedding: Invest in high quality bedding that is the right size for your bed for the comfort and coverage you need for a good night’s rest. Read our guide to finding your perfect match for the dreamiest sleep.